I recently had an interchange similar to this scenario, as the assistant. I left the meeting feeling hurt, as the manager refused to acknowledge any issues and turned everything back upon me. After some time in thoughtful prayer, God gave me this revelation. Both of us had been operating under completely different perspectives. We were in different boxes and lived in different realities. The manager thought everything was going great, but as the assistant I was miserable, feeling anxious and unsure of when I could speak up.
Both parties are living in different realities. Sometimes we just need to look at things from another angle. Otherwise more hurt will arise if we continue to live in our own reality and feel justified by our actions.
Have you ever felt your voice was not being heard? Perhaps both parties were functioning under varying premises.
Managers – It is your role to outline and clearly articulate how you view the working relationship. Otherwise you may have the rug pulled from under you when an assistant raises concerns. Your job is to coax the best work out of those around you.
Assistants – Be intentional about expectations, ask questions in interviews and after being hired. Don’t jump to conclusions, but be clear about how your best work can be curated.
How can this be viewed from a biblical worldview?
- When you have issues, refer to Matthew 18:15, go to that person and discuss the issues, don’t let it create turmoil in your heart over time
- Be direct and quick in addressing the issues, looking to Ephesians 4:25-32. We are called to give no opportunity to the devil, because he will feed on our hurt, our anger, our mistrust.
- In combating the devil, “take captive every thought…for though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.” (2nd Corinthians 10:3-6). Don’t let unspoken thoughts and feelings fester inside until they disease your mind.
Strive to align your perspective with the heart of God. Our egos tend to get in the way and cloud our vision. With a properly aligned perspective, we can have the uncomfortable conversations with those who sinned against us. But if we wait too long, we let sin creep into our own hearts, and are no longer on solid ground when we raise our concerns. We are called into the light, do not let the darkness creep back in. “At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2:8-11)